Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Why I Sleep With A Pen At My Side


I had this idea, but only for a moment.
It came to me as I lay on an oversized
comforter for my undersized bed.
It offered me just a spark, no flame--
like a firefly flashing in the summer sky
for an instant before it disappears into
the infinite dark.

My slovenly side held me
to my bed, using the sweat on my back
to glue me in place. My stubble-faced
father laughs and wags a pencil at me.

I realize that if I cannot recall it now,
it will be forever lost--
another unlit bulb in my mind,
content to flutter silently among lost friends,
lost ideas born of my imagination but unable to die.

They leave me wide eyed,
searching through the night
for one more glimpse of that elusive light,
one last flicker I can hold onto.

*A Marcus Crutcher poem

Today's word is: abeyance

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Friday, May 27, 2011

The Story Is Calling


He looked at her and smiled. "What a day for a daydream."

She searched for him and sighed. What a time to let it be. 

Do you know why I like writing? Because of that [insert arrow] up there. Those four lines of story. They're not seemingly special, nothing fantastically evocative in the prose or inspiring in the new shaping of language. But it's what isn't there that has me humming.

The set up, of those four little lines, is yet to come. The characters - she and him - have yet to walk out from the shadows and form the story of life. Sell their own pocket of history, time and truth.

As a writer, I see angles. It's like Robert Frost is standing behind me, and with the curve of his hand he's beckoning the roads of travel to rise up to meet me. Each path leads down a different destiny, to a variation of each future.

I can weave a little, shift the setting slightly, adjust the hew of the horizon. But the direction they take, the places that they go -- that's all them. I've tried to force something before, and it's like trying to make out with a drunk guy at a party. Sloppy, grope-driven and a little stinky. Never good to go there.

The possibilities tease. In this little cusp of story, there is so much left to be said, yet to be done. Lives are just now being awakened. With their flowering, I gain so much insight, hope and release from what they will teach me.

Am I teaching myself - do I have all of that knowledge already? Maybe. But you know what, it's so much sweeter to allow the expression to form, to give over to the muses and offer up these new rolling hillsides for travel.

I hear their journey calling, taste their voyage as the drums begin to pulse at their feet and infuse them with direction and reality.

Now. What do you hear?

Today's word is: prescience

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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed

Isn't that always the way? It's so much easier to move through life, well, just moving. Plugging, plodding, plopping along until one day you look around and think, "huh. What the fuck?"

I didn't have one of those days, but I did find inspiration in The Beatles this morning. In the lyrics and melody of Strawberry Fields Forever. It's a song that I've always read one distinct way, though (as with most of their music) you can pull a multitude of meanings from it. Hell, you can even waste the song searching for zombie Paul. Let's face it, Where's Waldo had nothing on John, Paul, George and Ringo.

The recently stripped down version of the song on Love had my attention this a.m. Where harmony, voice and power of word carried the song and slammed into me. There's no real need for any of the bells, whistles, trumpets and tally-ho that infiltrates and pulses through a Beatles song. Though it certainly is lovely and invigorating. But really, and I mean really, really, the magic is in their voices. What they do, it's just that damn good.

This resonates. If you are passionate about something and cultivate your talent from a dream into existence, and deem yourself worthy, all you really need is you. All you need is that ability amplified, and all who hear, read, see, taste and feel it will be changed from what you create.

Once we release our hold on the bells, lose the whistle and find our own inner warrior cry, the rest of what we are seeking fills in the gaps. This I believe.

Moss grow fat out of rolling stone. All you need is love. To everything, turn, turn turn.

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. Blink your world open. Allow yourself to feel to deal - then move out of your own way. It's all here, ripe for the plucking, in your strawberry field.

Today's word is: numinous


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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hopping Aboard Your Peace Train

There is always something that you can worry about. Last night, as I tried to avoid the weather forecast of predicted storms continuing to bustle their petticoats and trample across the south, I realized what my larger fear was.

I'm mindful of what I say and speak, but rarely what I think. In my head, my worries were that the Universe may have taken agin' me. I had to use my yogi skills to calm down enough to go inside and inspect what had me climbing the walls. It wasn't the terror of a tornado -- although that was certainly present. It was the idea that I am an existing non-existent.

I'm talking about the feeling that you don't matter. Which I think we all experience at difference times, in different ways. After the miscarriages, perception, reality and death become real, harsh and hard. So much so, that I feel as though I'm always on the edge of my seat, waiting for the freight train to come barreling around the bend, hop the tracks and skid straight for me.

Then, I'll have pull up my Wonder Woman boot straps, slam into it and prevent it from toppling onto me and crumbling everyone else around me. Because, clearly, I am a super hero waiting to showcase her super mad skills.

It took me a few moments to gather wisdom from the deeper river running through my internal struggle. And that is that it's not the Universe, it's me. For whatever reason, I'm not fully committing to believing in myself. It doesn't matter what's coming. That's (in the largest sense of the world) out of my hands.

But how I deal with the present, with the now, is entirely up to me. I can choose to think that my comeuppance is a reoccurring one way trip to the broken dreams wasteland, or I can change course.

There will always be something to worry about. But I don't always have to take the bait and let the worry rule my world. Recognizing this has brought me a relaxed clarity.

I can't guarantee that I won't roll up my sleeves, smack the She-Ra crown on my head and then prepare to drop-kick any agitation or fear train that comes speeding my way. But I do feel better knowing that I can send the caboose reeling, with just a flick of the imagination and a little belief of me getting out of the way.

I hope that you find your Peace Train today, and everyday that you seek it.


Today's word is: irenic

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Hope Posy Garden

I want to create a little garden of hope this morning. As a reminder that it blooms all around us, at all times. Since I connect with words and pictures, I'm going to create my garden from these two artistic flowers. 


Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all.  ~Emily Dickinson

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Hope is a waking dream. ~ Aristotle

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Dreams are free, so free your dreams.  ~Astrid Alauda

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Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.  ~Mother Teresa

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Things won are done, joy's soul lies in the doing. ~William Shakespeare

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"Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it."  ~ Lewis Carroll


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Today's word is: surmise

Friday, May 20, 2011

FridayReads Reading

If you tweet, and you read, you really should share what you are reading on Friday. Using the hashtag #fridayreads, you'll enter the most enjoyable (and largest) book club I've been a part of. What I like about FridayReads is that readers, all over the world, showcase everything. There is no canon in the reads, only the sharing of stories that are touching our lives. To make it even yummier, there is no set parameter. You don't have to share a book. You can share a magazine, article, newspaper, journal - a comic book or eloquent limerick found on the back of a roll of toilet paper. Well, OK, maybe not the limerick. Unless it was really, really good.

My point is, that as a reader, we are solitary creatures. Spending hours with these fascinating characters that we fall in love with. Wrapped in their lives, journeys and evolution. Once we leave the story behind, there is a sense of mourning. A loss of not being back there - back in it.

But with FridayReads, as with all truly great book clubs, the story lives on. It is passed around the world to avid, engaging and interested readers. We have a platform to stand up for the books, written worlds and penned stories that we love. To proclaim them read-worthy, and pin our golden tweeted star on their honor.

We hand over the recommendation, and keep their memory alive and their adventuring going. Because that is what reading is really about. Sharing story, shaping lives and lifting us out of the ordinary. Take a look, it's in a book - an extraordinary new beginning.

Today's word is: expound

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

On My Reading Vine

As I've mentioned, I'm addicted to LibriVox. The free audio books cause me to perform my happy dance daily (don't worry - I perform this shakedown of joy behind closed doors). But I always dally in choosing my classic. Should I read Bronte, Tolstoy, Wilde or Tarkington? There are so many wonderful recordings to choose from.

Which is why I thought I would share this week's reads, and offer LibriVox as a reading outsource. If you're busy and unable to pick up a book, rather than whistling while you work -- why not let someone tell you a story?

Stories brought to life by LibriVox this week:

Alice Adams by Booth Tarkington
The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

May new worlds find you and inspire your creations - the imagination, it grows, it grows.

Today's word is: galligaskins


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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The World Of Opportunity

Is out there. But today, I'm sniffling, sneezing and banging my palm into my forehead. Forgive the photo-speak, but the words are curled up with a blanket and hot tea, while I hunker down and rest.

Today's word is: primordial

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Wordless Wednesday -- Inspiration For Creation (Can You Hear The Story?)

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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Writing Freak Flag

Let your writing freak flag fly. This I believe.

One question I ask authors a lot is this: are you fearless when you write?

I ask this particular interview question, because I struggle greatly with embracing the raw writing style. Of letting my own boundaries crumble like cornbread and dust them away. It's so much easier to build the walls, to limit myself and stay safely in a writing box. To not go the distance, to not be the ball, be the ball, be the ball.

But I think I have mastered this problem, because I realized what was getting in my way. Me. I was stopping myself by making the story, the writing, the process -- the kit and caboodle -- about me. Being afraid for myself to let go, of what would surface, of where the story would take me.

What a silly girl I am. The purpose of a story is to sweep you away, completely, and for the entire time you're in the pages. Therefore, if I allow myself to let the reigns of control drop, if I dive in and submerse myself, well, that's the end all be all for a written world.

It doesn't matter that I'm timid or have doubt. It doesn't matter that I am fearful of the outcome. What matters is that I (and you) have the capability to give myself over so completely to my craft. To go out on that limb, march down that plank, and jump.

What a gift to be able to go so far, to have this doorway, this path into otherwhere and discover all the ways the world can unfold.

I hope that you take your writing to the edge today. That you grace the written world fully with your presence, and allow yourself to forget you exist. It's all there, at the edge of your fingertips, brushing the space between your ears, begging for exploration. All we have to do, is let go.

Today's word is: epigraph

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Monday, May 16, 2011

Suds In A Soap Box

I'm beta-ing (is that a verb?) for one of my favorite writer friends. It's not something I would normally do, simply because I have so many books coming in from publicists and authors for review (I had six arrive last week), and I am short on a lot of reading free time. I take my beta duties seriously, so I'm not reading at my normal pace -- which is four to six books per week. Yes, I am a literary garbage disposal. I can't help it, I was born this way. *throws on meat suit and demi-pleas around the room* 

As a beta, I read each sentence as its own chasm. I try to breathe my way into the world the author has written, while staying separated enough to focus on content. I look for any hiccups that pause the characters when they should go. I'm not a grammar nazi, though I wish I were. My editing skills in the context of grammar are along the lines of Oscar Wilde in that: "I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again." What I am, is a content crusader.

Being an English major didn't lend to my following the written rules to a T. I sorely wish it had, but I was too busy being lost in the story to focus on the details. Over the past five years I've changed my wicked ways, and gone back to studying the rules. But I wouldn't label myself grammar girl just yet. I'm more of a story slut  - and damn proud of it. 

I was tickled reading my pal's post this morning. Because she's such a beautiful writer and confident gal, and I never fathomed her writing insecurities would fall anywhere near the grammar hole. I was reminded, again, how we can never assume anything. Because we're so often wrong in thinking that others lack insecurities that run in our own veins, that dance along our own Pinnochian strings. 

Her story is beautiful. Full of southern grace, truth and reality. Honest, tender and ripe -- reading her pages has been like watching a bruise form and heal, a caterpillar cocoon and awaken anew. Transfixed, reading the last 100 pages of her novel had me forgetting to breathe and chewing the inside of my lip. 

Yes -- there are slight **slight** hiccups along her story path. But they are minuscule in the grand scheme of creating a beautiful world that will sweep readers away. A strong agent - a great editor - these stalwart champions will be able to snap those baby snafu's out with the flick of their fingers.

What she has, what is gifted to her, is the ability to weave a story so compelling, so beautiful, that it will haunt the reader, open their mind and inevitably shape their world. 

What a magical thing, what a glorious beginning. I am so grateful that I've been allowed inside these early pages. That I dusted off my beta boots and slipped inside. Skating along this gorgeous unpolished manuscript has been like polishing suds in a soap box - just the slightest brush of my fingertips sends them flying, leaving the sweet residue of a novel lovingly written and superbly crafted. 

Today's word: delineation

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Friday, May 13, 2011

Storytelling: Inside Isle De Fleur


                       1898, The Mountains of Smoke
The young man came by train, prepared to grow his pockets fat, and send back what he needed. The rest would go toward his dream, his art and his future. It wasn’t much of a dream, he supposed, but it was all he’d ever been able to see.
The lawn was complete. There had been talk, he’d heard the whispers, of the work that made it so. A groundskeeper by trade, he’d heard this chatter before. People wanted to believe that there was something more than they – that invisible power wavered in the air and made the trees come to life, the flowers impregnate with knowledge and the waters fester with unspoken truth.
He enjoyed the myth. It helped his reputation as guardian to the grounds, and he never minded elevating himself on that particular pedestal. As he stood on the ground of Isle de Fleur he couldn’t suppress the smile, and quirk of brow. He hoped the reputation preceded him, and that the ladies here were more than willing.
Surveying the land, he slipped his hands into pockets and rocked back on freshly shined heels. At 22 he felt aged, like a branch that had solidified and the wood was no longer able to bend, but hold or break. He planned to hold his own and break anyone who stood in his way.
“You the boy to make the flowers pretty up?”
He looked over to the man leaning on a cane. The lilt of the voice, the pure Irish brogue had him raking him over more than once.
“You expecting a leprechaun, laddie?”
He cleared his throat. The man was four foot tall, and his arms seemed to curl around the walking stick as though it was a limb, rather than support of one.
“Not unless they’re hoping I’ll dig gold from the ground, or create a bevy of shamrocks.”
The man’s lips winged up. “Well, now, don’t be putting thoughts in their heads, or you just might find the challenge well met. Come on, I’m Pater, and I’ll be your guide.”
The young man nodded at him, and prepared to step forward.
“Well then, you are him, correct?”
The young man stilled, and raised his brows.
“Him who?”
“Ovid the gardner. The one to make the flowers grow tall and help the roots wrap their arms around their destiny?”
“Is that what I’m here to do?”
Pater narrowed his eyes. “Well you’re certainly not here to lose your hand up the lasses skirts, boy-o, so be clearing your mind.”
Ovid looked at him curiously. He’d spent the previous ten seconds pondering the location of the maids and the quickest way to tracking them down.
“I’ll tend to the earth, and my needs. You’re a queer little man, aren’t you?”
“Is the day long?”
Ovid shrugged, “depends on the type of work filling it.”
Pater snickered and hit him with the foot of his cane. “You’ll do, then. Come along boy-o, let’s approach the beast before we slay it. Always like to get the lay of its underbelly before I fillet it wide.”
            Pater led Ovid up the grounds, past seven small reflection pools, between box cars and around a railroad track that led nowhere. The foundation of the house loomed, a massive monstrosity leveled the horizon and attempted to tower over breath itself. Babble would have been the stepping stone to this new fortress.
            Ovid could feel the distrust bloom beneath his feet. The earth kept her secrets well, but an echo always whispered out. Ovid’s keen eye was drawn to the seedlings and baby spruce trees that covered the land.
            “Building a forest?”
            Pader nodded and moved a little faster, one leg swinging out and up, rounding quickly in front of the other. The effect had him bobbling as he bamboozled his way over the land.
            “He likes things grand. Grand hall, grand staircase, grand indoor underworld. The man would rename himself opulence if his Mama’d allow it.”
            Ovid tilted his head back and looked up at the tips of the trees that lined the path. There was foundation, a knowing in these warrior pines. They gave the appearance of bridled peacock feathers, pulled back tightly with only the edges poking out. Slender, like the calf of a woman, but hairy like the bushel of a beard wearing six days growth. The world was high here, with thin air and lofty ambition. The current beneath his feet tugged him toward another heartbeat, and Ovid knew this would be the last place his feet would lead him.  
            Pater cocked an ear back, in a gesture familiar to those who comfort themselves to dropping eaves. He snorted and slowed his pace.
            “We’ll walk the foundation later. But for now, I’m to take you to the hacksaw.”
            Ovid simply nodded.
            “You always do what your told, do ya?” Pater questioned. “Not even after raising a brow at a name like hacksaw? Sounds like I’m to ferry you to a meat hall and you just nod.”
            “Are you?”
            “Am I what?”
            “Spiriting me off to hack and saw at my limbs?”
            Pater bristled. “No, now do I look like the type of fellow to do so?”
            Ovid smiled slowly and Pater squinted back at him.
“Well, looks can be deceiving,” Pater allowed. “What’s that the master keeps telling his Ma as they tour the ruins, “can’t judge a book by its cover.”
            They continued walking past the rubble that would become a great estate and toward a small complex of buildings. Construction was a year in, and the world of the land had been sculpted. The hacksaw, as Pater had called it, was a very comfortable cluster of housing. Stated elegance. That was what Ovid had been hired for, and clearly what the master of this domain required. Ovid tried to find the stirrings of excitement that came with the challenge of a new job, but couldn’t help feel that he was in over his head, and his feet were fast sinking into boggy sand.
            Workers scurried around, across and through the seamless wake that trailed after Ovid and Pater. Like school girls trailing after their first scent of a boy, the blades of grass stretched after Ovid, and skirted around Pater’s jagged steps. 
*This chapter from one of my Works In Progress
Today's word is: cad

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Inside The Whirling Dervish

I'm inside my writing dervish, writing, writing, writing. Which means my mind is swaddled in story, character and possibility. As such, today I bring you a photo that inspires me - that has me reaching outside my mental haven and into the wide world of other. Other reality, ideas, being and potential. I'm rolling in it, playing with the threads that aren't a general part of my make-up and watching as they weave and intertwine. So much story and awareness, such grand beginnings my fingers are brushing against and my mind tapping into. I hope that creativity wraps her arms around you today and you let go, and enjoy the ride.

Today's word: enkindle 

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Monday, May 9, 2011

Stepping Lightly

I speak on how different we all are often. Which is what makes us so wonderful, diverse and (really) quite lovely. But it's also maddening, because it's not always easy to communicate with someone else. Since we all react differently, how you see things won't always be how someone else views the same situation.

There are objects I wish for, dream of and long to possess: a magic wand, teleport, time machine and diviner. Which makes me wonder if I've read way too much Harry Potter. But, alas, it's true. If I could wave my hand, stir the air and pull magic into me, I would use it to harness these dream weavers.

Which leads me to the next what -- what I would use them for. I would use them to take hurt away, to communicate what heart speaks to heart and remove the unrest.

I would, probably, also use them in a series of great adventures, hijinks and shenanigans. But first would come the tumbling down of our inner babble walls, so we could all really hear each other, understand one another and celebrate what fierce beauty resides inside each and every one of us.

I imagine that time would be like fireworks -- color, light and rarely glimpsed glory exploding at the edge of our world as it softly rained down upon us.

That picture is worth a thousand words, and I write them to myself daily. I believe, I believe, I believe.

Today's word is: adduce

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Friday, May 6, 2011

Firestar And Other Mythical Powers

As a little girl I wanted, desperately, to have a super power. I blame my hair color. Most red heads on TV were witches or magical, and I thought this should include me. I was also captivated by She-Ra, and didn't entirely understand why we didn't share more common ground.

I admit I was a bit quirky even as a little girl. The best way to entertain me was to put me in front of a mirror. Which my parents did with regularity. Any and everywhere. At a grocery store, department store, restaurant, the petting zoo -- if there was a mirror, I was in front of it. For hours I would world build, creating new friends, lives and stories through my own looking glass.

I was occasionally pragmatic, quite stubborn and terribly smitten with the fantastical. Magic ruled my world.

At some point I discovered my hocus-pocus word: firestar. I would raise my hands over my head and belt out the word, occasionally practicing my "magic-look" in front of the mirror -- between my imaginary performances for my invisible audience of thousands.

When my brother irritated me, which was every other second, I would scream the word at him like an obscenity. When I wasn't getting my way, I would call the word forth and then run from the room like a girlie chicken. When I wanted to make something amazing transpire, I would reach deep into the depths of my imagination, yank out all my emotion and round the vowels as I proclaimed: f.i.r.e.s.t.a.r.

Nothing usually happened. At least, I'm pretty sure nothing did. I tended to run from room to room yelling it, not pausing to see if there was an actual great occurrence following my proclamation, but I have it on good authority that nothing ever did. Still the word, the feeling, man it was powerful.

Words have power. They are magical. As a little girl I recognized this, as a (sorta) grown woman I continuously remind myself of this. We have such a gift in our vernacular, in the ability to pull meaning, weight and dynamism from the very inside of our beings.

Firestar.

Nothing may have happened right then, right in the middle of our house as the word passed through my lips. But I guarantee you that it was the first ripple, the first wave of transcendent imagination that propelled me into something magical, something mystical, something wonderful.

Today's word is: pulchritudinous

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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Swinging Wide

Last night in meditation, I was drawn to the mantra: I create my own reality. A big believer in the freedom of silence, if you ever find yourself lost, struggling or frustrated, I offer the advice to find a quiet spot and sit. Allow yourself the freedom to let the thoughts rise up and then release them. They are only thoughts after all.

I'm a little Type A, and I have all these rules that outline my inner monologue. When this mantra landed in my lap last night, I wondered if this meant that a) I have the power to choose to be affected by something or not or b) I have the power to make something happen -- to generate what will be affecting me. 

I have just decided, as I type this sentence, that it's both. Or neither, or whichever one feels better. Because the rules are where I am limiting myself. 

We're traveling abroad this summer, and I know we are going. I know when, where and how. But it still doesn't feel real. It's still a dream at this point, and one I can't understand entirely. I've never done this before, so I can't foresee how it will all work out - how we really are going. But we are. This I don't doubt.

When it comes to my other dreams, I struggle more with how they will come true. How do I visualize such a thing? How do I see each layer unfold? Each bubble of possibility blossom? I don't and can't, because I've never been here before. But I've never been to Ireland, either. And I know I am going, I know that it's all happening. 

So why can't my dream coming true be the same? No, I can't imagine boarding the plane for my dream, arriving on the island I've been longing to arrive to for over ten years, or what the landscape will look like in person. But I know that I will have that knowledge soon. That it's already in the palm of my hand, just waiting for my fingers to grasp around it and shake hello. 

My other dreams are in the other hand. Just as real, just as here, just as now. I've only to open my eyes and feel. To know that they are here, that here is now and now is real. I am free to create my own reality, to see my future as I dream it. 

It's Cinco de Mayo today. A holiday I love for the celebration, tequila and cheese. On the morning of May 5, 1862, 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City. Today we honor the 5th as the yearly celebration for this freedom. And what a wonderful thing to celebrate. 

Happy day to you. I hope that your dreams are swinging wide, and your belief in them is allowing you to reach the places you only dreamed possible. 

Today's word is: filiopletistic



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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Much Too Much

Are we getting lazier? This thought - question - may only dripping from my silly little head, but circling it I am. I wonder if in our new era of virtuality and copious (occasionally incorrect) information being poured over the tips of our fingers, if we aren't taking rather than earning. Do we simply grab and snatch, when we should reach?

Heading into work this morning, the Mister was telling me how the emails he requests to be removed from must be passing his contact info onto other junk mailers. His reasoning was this: every time he gets removed from one junk email, he's spammed from another.

Now he wasn't actually complaining. He's above doing so, but he was conversationally remarking on it. Here's where we differ: I would have bypassed gentle complaining and harped straight into bitching. In a, "these assholes need to quit sending me this shit, because I see the new email show up and get excited it a) is from my agent with mind-boggling yummy news b) from an author and they are responding to a spotlight/review/request or c) from the fairies of Parnassus who have traveled down the Mount to grant me One Million Dollars, three wishes and a bushel of magic chocolate.

Spam. makes. me. crazy.

But what struck me, as I had the above conversation with myself, is why. Seriously. Why?

I don't get terribly upset when I receive junk mail via snail pace. I pull it from the mailbox, toss it in the trash and forget it ever touched my palm. But spam? *hiss, boo, sign of the cross* Spam drives me eight sideways batty.

Because I'm viral greedy and virtual lazy. Unmoving, unwavering, eyes glued to the screen -- clicking delete is such an effort. Nevermind that this afternoon I'll get on my yoga mat, cook dinner, walk the dog, have a whiskey drink and prance around in my underwear for the hell of it -- when I'm in my chair working, I am lah-haze-eeee.

Le sigh.

It's much too much.

I'm going to work on my relationship with my virtual self. With avatar Paige. She needs a little more can do in her can-can ways. No more online window browsing, gluttonous Vanity Fair perusing or synonym hunting. I will work at not wasting my own time and spending my virtual days growling.

But I can't promise that I won't flick off the spam as I exuberantly delete it. That, at least, is an almost exercise.

Today's word is: averment



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Monday, May 2, 2011

SoundCloud Writes My Muse Music

I have, thanks to an uber-fab tweeter, discovered Laura Boyle on Soundcloud. I am absolutely captivated by this girl and the way she makes song rain emotion, ethereal bliss and gorgeousness down on me. You must check her out. Escape on the wings of her words and the sweet breath of her melody.

Laura's sweet melodies: http://soundcloud.com/lauraboyle/tracks?page=2#play

May today bring you a fresh start, awakened dreams and perseverance.

Today's word is: similitude

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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Reflections Through The Looking Glass

On the heels of dream, I write this blog post.

I am thirty years old.

Well, as my Mother would correct, at 5:50 p.m. today I will be thirty. What a funny day it is. As a child I was rebellious, adventurous and a little wild. Not too much has shifted as an adult. I try today to have a little more accountability, empathy and joy. But overall, I am still very much me.

I believe if I were a younger version of myself, I would assume at thirty I would have a child or two. Possibly have morphed into a woman who sounds and looks a lot like Lucille Ball meets a grown up Alice. My Wonderland would be my home, job and all these very traditional things. Quite boring, but very settled and expected. Because I believed, as a child, that we grew into very different characters. That the future was so far off, that who we would become was a very different sort from who we were.

Well the future sure fooled me. I have grown into myself, not away from. I am blessed with a phenomenal surrounding of friends and family. I am more than blessed with the people I have yet to meet -- the new characters that are waiting to come into my world. But who I am is still who I was - only less jagged around my edges. Life has shown me more snapshots of surrealism than my artists hand could ever write.

So far, it has been a long, strange trip. A roller coaster of emotions, horizons, shock and awe. And today I greet thirty.

"Hello there, took you long enough. Welcome to the next Great Adventure. I hope you brought your passport and big girl pants."

May you all have a very, merry un-birthday today.

Today's word is: novel

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